Guilt and forgiveness

Guilt is painful and forgiveness is hard. But guilt was formed from inability to forgive. And because I found it hard to forgive and the person is no longer around- I have guilt from not forgiving- and of course not knowing that the person would die. I forgive him for the situation with my sister- I just forgave him too late. What I have to realize is that domestic violence is a bad situation- one in which I feel quite strongly about- so one episode tarnished my thoughts- would not let me forgive and gave me ammo for discontent and dislike- now my heart hurts for my inability to forgive him for what happened. I just hope that he can accept my apology- if my sister was able to forgive and my family able to forgive- I should have been able to as well- for that is what my religion class was all about. If only I had learned my lesson sooner.