Flat impaired PaRT dEU

Ok, so it seems I need to specify exactly what "flat impaired" is.
If I were referring to my ta ta's it would be growth impaired or cleavage impaired or something like that.

I was actually referring to my fixing my first flat on BIG RED my 30+ lb road bike. Luckily I noticed it before I got on the road heading home. Now, I coulda pussied out and called my Monkey Mechanic spouse who looks hotter n hell in spandex and even hotter with a wrench in his hand and lube (I mean grease) all over him! But no, I was determined to do this myself. So 30 minutes later, I had fixed my first flat. Covered with chain grease and smeared all over my face (didn't realize it till I made it home). I was sweating after I was done- And because there were still some people at work, I had to pretend I knew exactly what I was doing. I faked it well!!!
But I was quite lucky because I could have experienced my first flat on the side of road of Navy Yard Highway covered with glass, single shoes, rocks, those funny screws with bolts still attached (these are all over the friggin place!!! Imagine they come off cars- maybe same place the solo shoes come from) And I could have been trying to dodge fired up motorists in trashy cars who are jonesing for that cold Schmidt at home in their fridge. Or those older men who have some sort of Vietnam vendetta against cyclists and absolutely refuse to share the road and therefore, swerve as if to hit you and get their rocks off when you jump. OR those copenhagen chewing ball scratching beer drinking high school drop outs in a big loud truck who wanna fuck with you just because you are a woman (who they all think are tramps). Or the dumass teenage girl on a cell phone reaching for her starbucks coffee.
.....Whoa..got off the subject there on a rampage.
Anyway, fixed my first flat............YEE HAW!!!

Flat Impaired

What the hell happened to the message I posted regarding this??? It disappeared and I dont feel like re writing it..So now ya all will never know the story...

Shipyard sucks

So they are gonna send my monkey away for 2 weeks in the fall. Ummm nooo, not going to work for me..Why? you ask..Lets see, I have 3 kids in soccer, I am starting a new school...In Tacoma. Josie and Mason will be starting a new school and a new schedule and both Bridget and Aaron are in high school. Both work and Bridget has cheer and we are down a vehicle. And everytime Mike goes away...The house breaks.
So I am pissed and it leaves me wondering...Do they actually make you..Or does Monkey volunteer to get the F away from his crazy friggin wife, a money pit house, a pissing crapping cat, two teenagers from hell, Rosemary's six year old and dogs that try to dig to China or escape from Alcatraz on a nightly basis....
Shit, maybe I will work for the shipyard and I will get away on a vacation for two weeks. Oh, I mean work for two weeks...Yah, similar to the "work" that was done in Hawaii last October. Maybe Monkey can be gone again on Halloween and watch hot little bar ho's dressed as a Brittany Spears school girl again and fantasize and actually verbalize how i should wear the same outfit while giggling with his male co workers....
OOOOPPPPS,, I did it again...I'm being bitter.

BROAD SHOULDERS

One thing I have learned to love and appreciate are broad shoulders. Wide, strong, lean, untouched or at least smooth and debris free. Nothing makes me feel more protected than wide perfect shoulders.
I worry less and ride more confident (hee hee, ya all thought I was talking about men huh!!)
NOPE...I just hate commuting when the shoulders are all full of debris such as glass, staples, shoes, rocks and who the hell knows what else. In fact, right now as we speak there is a little pirate sword on the side of the road along Navy Yard highway. For the first couple of days, I saw it, I thought it was real. And all these wild tales of death, murder and torture formed in my mind. But now, I am pretty sure that it is plastic...I think it came from the same place the shoes come from. It amazes me how many people lose their shoes on Navy Yard Highway there right before the shipyard. In fact, It makes me wonder if there is a little shoe fairy that just deposits unwanted shoes along the road just for the sheer purpose of making me wonder why it is there and how it got there. Or maybe....just maybe...the shoemakers elves realize that they made two lefts instead of a right and a left and they get soooo mad, they throw it out the window of their SUV?????? Who knows..Do you think the sock stealer in each and every house gives themselves to those shoes?? Maybe as a sacrifice of some sort.

Crying 6 year old

Wow, never seen a fit quite like this one. Money stolen off her dresser. Mason sure has lots of money. Poor little pickle. Wish she would learn to keep her money in a special place. Wish kids wouldnt steal..Poor little pickle.