My day at the hospital

So, the year 2007 is starting off interesting....Last night (Jan. 1) Mike had a bit too much....I mean a sloshing of wine and was a bit lit.....I mean quite lit...Not a pretty site...
Now..beings as how today is the national day of mourning for President Ford, Mike had the day off so we decided to go recliner shopping- desperately need to replace the stinky broken green thing that Josie calls her own that has been stained and tainted by pretty much every bodily fluid of human and animal alike, all four food groups on numerous occasions including bubble gum and many designs from the children using permanent marker...So we were at our fourth and last furniture store when we got the dreaded phone call from School....The voicemail message when like this..."Hi Mrs. Wellborn, this is Carrie from Sunnyslope. Mason has had an accident on the playground and has a head injury and a bad laceration on his forehead that is going to require stitches. Please call back as soon as possible, I will try your work phone at Harrison Home health."
SHIT!!!!!! (no she didnt say that, that was me) So we left JcPenney like a bat outta hell. I called the school back and Carrie answered. I asked to speak with the nurse, Carrie said she would transfer me back but the nurse couldnt pick up because she had blood all over her hands. SHIT (again) Now my heart is pumping- kinda feel all heart attacky.....So I talk with the nurse who tells me that nothing rattles her cages because she is a nurse- but this is rattling her cage. FUCK!!!! Forget the shit- so I am now a little freaked. I can handle any patient injury and wound but not myself or my own children......
Well, spent 4 hours at Harrison ER- decided that this was not a case for the urgent care- didnt know Mason's neuro status---- (upon arrival at the school, Mason was in a little state of shock)---My poor little baby. So a 2+ inch laceration on his forehead and the depth was all the way down to scalp as in cranium as in bone- yup is was visible alright. Kinda looked like a little mouth on this forehead especially when he wiggled his eye brows... Mason was a trooper and did fabulously- in fact- the only part that hurt was taking the butterfly bandages off his laceration that the school nurse had put on his head. WOW that baby was deep. The physician's assistant who sutured him did a fantastic job- there was a conversation about having a plastic surgeon come in to suture but didnt think that was necessary- we will try the tricks to minimize scarring.
Gosh----I am tired..Need my energy to see what tomorrow brings.
LOVE TO ALL!!!!

Abbreviatons ETC

AT work today. Don't really have time for work- have two exams and a presentation next week. Rest of my family is at home. Little ones are going to the movies and rollerskating with their dad and Aunt Debbie---wish I had an Aunt Debbie!
So joint commisions will be coming to our home health agency in January some time so the big deal right now is abbreviations... DONT USE THEM!!!! WTF--much of nursing is about abbreviations...Betty and I think it is because some of the nurses dont know what many of the abbreviations are. I mean I understand the whole orders thing and if I were dealing with medications I would'nt say Pot for Potassium-- but HTN for hypertension A fib for atrial fibrillation. PE for pulmonary embolism---now those are very common med abbreviations that are not mistaken for anything else.... It is really quite funny----a lot of it revolves around RVR= rapid ventricular rate. So if you are having an MI you are not having a heart attack you are having a myocardial infarction. If you are having a CVA ---nope---you are having a cardiovascular accident...Oh well
TTFN oh...I mean ta ta for now!!!

Whatever

I'm friggin tired. I am friggin tired...... I dream about pathophysiology. I do a general assessment on everyone I see. I try and conjure up care plans in my head when I see them. I am walking in a new dimension. I have anxiety. I cannot understand my chapter six patho info on Inflammation and the mechanisms of self defense- I think I need to take a course in Latin or ancient Chinese before I proceed. Who gives a shit about the degradation of vasoactive amines and chemotactic factor....Let me give you a hint----IT IS NOT ME!!!!!!!
Got shot down at work today on whether or not to put a pillow under the leg of a patient 4 weeks out after having a total knee arthroplasty. She has full extension and ROM...She is off coumadin...She knows not to put pressure under her knee. BUT what the fuck do I know...I am only and LPN...Oh, forgot, did I mention I worked in Ortho for 5 years...and with her ortho doc??? BITTER...PARTY OF ONE!!!!
Got a bill from MCI today. For 32.00 for a phone number I have not had for 3 years....HHHHMM. Can we say DUH!!!! Called them and the first question they asked was.."Are you sure you dont have that number anymore?"--that was a great question..Dont ya think..The second question was.."So you are disputing the charges?"..I am thinking that maybe the second question was even better than the first...
Anyway,
I am going to go drink heavily now..

College Girl

So school has officially started for 5 out of the 6 occupants of our house hold (Monkey is just "getting schooled") He is getting schooled by 3 kids in soccer, a wife in an academically rigorous nursing program, work, piece of shit Plymouth Laser, two teenagers working, a hormonal 16 year old who believes it is ok for us to lie to his best friends parent just so he can visit his girlfriend from another country (ok..Bainbridge Island). A 17 year old cheerleader.....need I say more......But he is handling it quite well........Then again, he did leave the house this morning at the butt crack of dawn smelling like men's Pure Romance Ego line with pheromones in it just to see his best friend Ben and have coffee with him this morning....Hhhmmmm.

Flat impaired PaRT dEU

Ok, so it seems I need to specify exactly what "flat impaired" is.
If I were referring to my ta ta's it would be growth impaired or cleavage impaired or something like that.

I was actually referring to my fixing my first flat on BIG RED my 30+ lb road bike. Luckily I noticed it before I got on the road heading home. Now, I coulda pussied out and called my Monkey Mechanic spouse who looks hotter n hell in spandex and even hotter with a wrench in his hand and lube (I mean grease) all over him! But no, I was determined to do this myself. So 30 minutes later, I had fixed my first flat. Covered with chain grease and smeared all over my face (didn't realize it till I made it home). I was sweating after I was done- And because there were still some people at work, I had to pretend I knew exactly what I was doing. I faked it well!!!
But I was quite lucky because I could have experienced my first flat on the side of road of Navy Yard Highway covered with glass, single shoes, rocks, those funny screws with bolts still attached (these are all over the friggin place!!! Imagine they come off cars- maybe same place the solo shoes come from) And I could have been trying to dodge fired up motorists in trashy cars who are jonesing for that cold Schmidt at home in their fridge. Or those older men who have some sort of Vietnam vendetta against cyclists and absolutely refuse to share the road and therefore, swerve as if to hit you and get their rocks off when you jump. OR those copenhagen chewing ball scratching beer drinking high school drop outs in a big loud truck who wanna fuck with you just because you are a woman (who they all think are tramps). Or the dumass teenage girl on a cell phone reaching for her starbucks coffee.
.....Whoa..got off the subject there on a rampage.
Anyway, fixed my first flat............YEE HAW!!!

Flat Impaired

What the hell happened to the message I posted regarding this??? It disappeared and I dont feel like re writing it..So now ya all will never know the story...

Shipyard sucks

So they are gonna send my monkey away for 2 weeks in the fall. Ummm nooo, not going to work for me..Why? you ask..Lets see, I have 3 kids in soccer, I am starting a new school...In Tacoma. Josie and Mason will be starting a new school and a new schedule and both Bridget and Aaron are in high school. Both work and Bridget has cheer and we are down a vehicle. And everytime Mike goes away...The house breaks.
So I am pissed and it leaves me wondering...Do they actually make you..Or does Monkey volunteer to get the F away from his crazy friggin wife, a money pit house, a pissing crapping cat, two teenagers from hell, Rosemary's six year old and dogs that try to dig to China or escape from Alcatraz on a nightly basis....
Shit, maybe I will work for the shipyard and I will get away on a vacation for two weeks. Oh, I mean work for two weeks...Yah, similar to the "work" that was done in Hawaii last October. Maybe Monkey can be gone again on Halloween and watch hot little bar ho's dressed as a Brittany Spears school girl again and fantasize and actually verbalize how i should wear the same outfit while giggling with his male co workers....
OOOOPPPPS,, I did it again...I'm being bitter.

BROAD SHOULDERS

One thing I have learned to love and appreciate are broad shoulders. Wide, strong, lean, untouched or at least smooth and debris free. Nothing makes me feel more protected than wide perfect shoulders.
I worry less and ride more confident (hee hee, ya all thought I was talking about men huh!!)
NOPE...I just hate commuting when the shoulders are all full of debris such as glass, staples, shoes, rocks and who the hell knows what else. In fact, right now as we speak there is a little pirate sword on the side of the road along Navy Yard highway. For the first couple of days, I saw it, I thought it was real. And all these wild tales of death, murder and torture formed in my mind. But now, I am pretty sure that it is plastic...I think it came from the same place the shoes come from. It amazes me how many people lose their shoes on Navy Yard Highway there right before the shipyard. In fact, It makes me wonder if there is a little shoe fairy that just deposits unwanted shoes along the road just for the sheer purpose of making me wonder why it is there and how it got there. Or maybe....just maybe...the shoemakers elves realize that they made two lefts instead of a right and a left and they get soooo mad, they throw it out the window of their SUV?????? Who knows..Do you think the sock stealer in each and every house gives themselves to those shoes?? Maybe as a sacrifice of some sort.

Crying 6 year old

Wow, never seen a fit quite like this one. Money stolen off her dresser. Mason sure has lots of money. Poor little pickle. Wish she would learn to keep her money in a special place. Wish kids wouldnt steal..Poor little pickle.

Puerto Vallarta

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NEW rooms for the little ones

Mike and I spent the whole weekend detonating the little ones rooms. Ripped out carpets, washed walls, painted, spackled and installed laminate hard wood floors and decorated. NOt exactly in that order. The transformation was absolutely amazing. Kids were thrilled to death and dont even wanna come out of their rooms.
We are all very very excited. The funny part is how much stuff Josie has as compared to Mason. Unless of course you count his 5,984,000 he has stashed in his tote in his new closet.
Anyway, I want my family to come see these rooms. You would be amazed. Move over "While you were out" reality show. The ju ju and monkey show was far more entertaining.

FOUND a FOREIGN FLOATER

So the funnies thing happened to me this morning...I had some coffee and you know what happens after a couple cups of coffee....You have to go build a log cabin in the bathroom.
So on top of building a log cabin, it also happens to be the time of the month when my red friend visits me. So anyway, ya know how when you are done in the bathroom, you look in the toilet to see what you created?? Don't deny it...You know you do...Everyone does..........Anyway, I noticed a long stringy shiny thing in the toilet. Immediately I thought I lost my IUD...But upon looking closer, right next to my tampon was my lady bug necklace. I swear I didn't eat it for breakfast. I had rice krispies with blue berries on it..So I don't think it came out of my colon.... All I can think of is that I didn't clasp it well this morning after I took my PTA bath (Pits, Tits, Ass) . (In case you are wondering, I take a quick wipe down bath after I bike into work in the morning)
ANyway, I had to dig the necklace out of the toilet without losing the ladybug amidst my throne creations. I wanted to avoid having to finger paint..Although, I plan on fingerpainting when I am an old lady just because I can probably get away with it then.
Needless to say, I had to wash my necklace well and hand sanitize it etc...I guess I should wash my hands too.
The moral of this story is.. Always check out your art work in the potty when you are done creating cause you never know what you might find.

Sexual Harassment

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ok ok

A dancing duck.. Creamy neopolitan treats, a giggling boar and laughing potato bug. I listen to them everyday.
And speaking of creamy, my partner in crime in the same cubicle has bacterial vaginosis. Or at least I think....She has the scoots.
I was also an oriental lady yesterday ordering Chinese pizza from our triage nurse. Worked for two days. She was very polite on the phone. Until yesterday, then I decided I better let her know that Sihn Wai Puhn was really me and not some confused oriental lady.
I have pretty much entered all my info in the computer for the day. Now I am playing...Waiting for more doctors orders or abstract phone calls from people who dont know what the hell they want. They just want me to take their patients off their hands and reduce their phone call load. Im ok with that...I have been there. There is nothing more fulfilling than disposing of those duplicate phone messages or something.
I believe this blogging is illegal at work. It somehow may be related to some type of HIPPA noncompliance..Not sure how but I think something can be conjured up. TOIL TOIL
Been commuting into work by bike. It kinda helps with the increased eating I have done because my friend with BV keeps feeding me chocolate and other fatty high caloric treats. It is because I have a nice ass and she wants me to be fat to make her feel better. No worries on that because she is a little rail..My boobs are bigger too..That kind of makes me happy but my belly is really large. Today I am blaming my enlarged marsupial pouch on menstrual bloating.
Anyway, I like the commuting by bike thing. I get my exercise in. And when I dont ride into work, I try to get in a quick run. Of course, by the time 10pm rolls around and I am ready to study, I collapse in my book and snore. Of course, I think the 3 glasses of red wine contribute a skoosh.
HHmm, foggy glasses. Cant really see what Im writing..Good because I can blame it on my temporary schizophrenic blogging episode that you are now reading. Ok, going back to work now. Must eat more M&M's..Did you know the peanut butter filled ones are fabulous and they make them in a GIANt size????!!!!!

Broke Back Forest

Sorry,
Title was kind of a STM inside joke.
Had a GREAT time last night with the Single Track Mind crew. Burgers, Brats, Beer, a good ride and good company. Met some really great people that I would love to hang with more often.

Bout of the tummy flu today though. Stayed home, kept kids home with me and slept much of the day. Monkey came home to take care of me and ended up feeling kinda blah himself and took a nap as well.

Feeling a bit better now.

IN OTHER NEWS!!!!!
I just saved money on my car insurance.............kidding...just couldnt resist. I actually now ride for team Velo Bella !! Its a womens racing team..They sponsor but the main goal is to have fun!!! No set amount of rides you need to do. Just buy a jersey, a license, sign up for email, post your info and race at least one ride...Not a problem being as how I plan on submitting myself to some cyclo cross pain this fall with my spouse. Should be an interesting fall...3 kids in soccer, 1 in SKHS football cheer, school for the kids, myself starting at PLU, and Monkey and I cross racing. ..Kinda makes me tired thinking about it.
I just wonder how many people actually start doing racing (amateur) or professional alike at almost 40. Well, what the hell. Ya only live once right????
Peace out!!

My new Gearie

Tested out my new Kona King Supreme Geared full suspension bike today! Went to Capitol Forest and rode down the Greenline #6 (LOVE THAT TRAIL!!!) Rockin downhill course.
"Root Boo" (KONA) Took the drops like a "King" :) Rode very smooth, not too bouncy but far more plush than what I am used to. I.E. "Blue Boo" (SINGLE SPEED). I really really dug the bike. STILL Adore my single speed BLUE BOO.
My sweet spouse made a few adjustments to the gears and later changed out my front tire. Love being married to a bike nerd!!
Need to get used to taking the hills though, my instinct is to stand, such as I do on Blue Boo. I started to get the sitting and spinning (no pun intended) thing though.
Made it up the road climb to the Green line without stopping, it was hard and certainly got me rather asthmatic but the Root boo rocked up the hill, just dialed out my fork and set my pro ride to the correct setting and spun away.
Wow, almost sound like a bike nerd for a minute!!! Whew.....now off to surf bike porn.

My BIG little boy and his proud mama!

So proud ofAaron. He has a job working for the Clover leaf tavern. Seriously....He is working their concession stand. He is exhibiting responsibility and while some may say "yeah, he's sixteen" I say, "yeah, he's sixteen!". This is my child with ADD previously ADHD. No hyperactivity now really cuz he can veg on a couch for hours on end. BUT..school is still a challenge.
I watched him interact with people, I watched him work the cash register, clean, cook, and basically run a busy concession stand all by himself. I was and am so proud that he is so responsible, in fact, they are so impressed with him, that he will be working at a Bluejackets game tomorrow night...THAT is the big daddy!!Talking to hundreds of customers with lots of cooking and counting. He will be working with his best friend Chris, whom I adore.
So anyway, ya all may be thinking that I am getting excited over something relatively minor and I am..Just wait till he (if he) graduates from high school. I will probably take out a billboard hang balloons from my car, graffiti the town and just all around shout for joy.

JUST KIDDING

Ok, I think I am better now. Getting over my passive aggressive victimized state and ready to blog again.
JUST A WARNING TO ALL.
YA DONT LIKE WHAT I SAY....DONT READA ME BLOG MAN!!!!
And I am not always a nice person. No one is. I get hurt, mad and viscious as all wounded animals do..I mean Tink is my totem and she is quite naughty and vindictive.

Ju Ju over n out

Because I am no longer allowed to write how I feel even though that what the blog was meant for me to do.

I will no longer blog.

Just bottle it up inside and let it eat at me.

DONE
Bye

Quite MIRACULOUS

So in a 24 hour period, Perry has gone from one breath on his own per minute and in a total coma. To breathing on his own, Responding to people, suctioning himself and sitting up in a chair. ABSOLUTELY MIRACULOUS!!! Gives me chills.
And being as how my teenagers have been evil lately. It actually makes me thankful that they are well enough to be evil. Funny how life throws you these little reminders of how lucky you really are.