SAD JU JU.

So I need some insight....Any takers????
READ ON:

Someone explain to me the allure of pornography. I don't understand. In fact I spent much of last night surfing porno sites to determine what the allure is before I went off!!!!. I wanted to give it a fair shake. I mean, you can't exactly throw a tantrum and go on some kind of diatribe about how it is disgusting and belittling etc. etc. yada yada yada unless you experience it for yourself. While it was very interesting to find the different lengths and girths associated with the male member..I did not find it in the least bit satisfying. Nor did I understand or do I understand why reading literature about mothers doing it with their sons or intercourse between sisters and brothers very.....Literary and worth noting. It was perverse, filthy, disgusting and plain old ucky...Do not get me wrong..Anyone who knows me knows I am not a prude. In fact, I sell adult novelties myself!! I love sex but sex is so much more than what is shown on the internet.
It is about a satisfying relationship between you and your partner. And if one is truly satisfied in your relationship; Why the need to look at other women's who haws and yaw yaws and same with other mens for that matter???
Makes me wonder, do you have to pre horny yourself just to be with me? Am I not attractive because I don't have double DD yaw yaws. I don't understand.
Maybe I am alone here and maybe it is just me, but I felt totally hurt last night. I cried because I felt so belittled. I don't have the greatest self esteem and that surely cut what little I do have to the quick. If porn is to be watched..maybe it should be watched together. Couples sharing..I don't know.. That is why I sell what I sell. To improve relationships. RELATIONSHIPS.
I went through this with my last marriage...I always found porn when I was pregnant, fat and feeling very very ugly.
Oh I will stop...
Needless to say I will get over this. But I am very very hurt. Again, I don't have a great excuse as to why. Someone PLEEEEAAASE explain to me the allure. And if I am wrong..Please tell me and explain to me. I almost feel as if I have been cheated on ....