Fruitful journey

Wow- long time since I updated this blog. Best news is::: We are now 25 weeks pregnant with a baby girl- Lacey Evelyn. I love her so much already that I can just burst!!! My little Laceybug is already so loved...so very very loved.

Luckily for us our donor egg journey was successful the first time- no frozen eggs left over for us- this was it- we are so excited to meet our baby girl in about 12 weeks or so.

Thanking God everyday for this miracle!!

How many eggies??

Met with Dr. Dudley last week and signed consent forms, discussed what to do with frozen embryos and how many eggies to implant. This is a tough one----we have however, decided to definitely do two with a 3 day transfer. But the difficult part is the 5 day transfer- apparently a higher success rate of implantation and higher quality embryo (blastocyst at this phase).. So..they really recommend transferring one to avoid multiples (not excited about carrying multiples) but if I transfer just one- what if one doesn't make it. 1-1=0 (I learned this in grade school) But if we decide to transfer two and one doesn't make it 2-1=1 (see how smart I am)... But conversely- since we are using "young" eggs and our donor already has proven fertility (2 children herself)- 2-0=2 (not exactly a good idea considering my history of hypertension in pregnancy- NICU time and sick babies doesn't make me happy either) OH- and here's another arithmetic factor to also consider- the rare but occurring splitting of one egg (identical twins) 2+1= 3 (definitely a NO NO)...
Big sigh---what to do....what to do....

Egg Donor child

This is an amazing view from a lovely young lady. I hope with all my heart that if my DE experience is "fruitful" my DE baby will have the same wonderful and positive outlook!

Roadblocks and stop signs

Once again- we have a hit a donor egg road block. This whole process can be amazingly frustrating and agonizing. As if being infertile isn't debilitating enough... Our donor has a cyst- who knows how long this could prolong our process--buts that's ok- because we cannot get our funding secured until July 26.. And the Attain program (the fertility funding group) will not pay for your cycling until you pay them the amount upfront....Big sigh....waiting....waiting....waiting..

Our Donor and the Chronicles of the Failed Ovaries

We finally found our donor. The genetic mother of our to-be baby...Same height and weight (- 20 pounds) (Well.... I used to be that skinny...geesh). Same blood type. Her picture kinda looks like little orphan Annie (they only show us the pics from childhood)... The only kinda creepy part is one of her pics looks like a female version of Mike when he was a kid.. "They" say we are all very closely related genetically. Ok- that was kind of sick but anyway- Our donor goes in for further f/u testing this week. I really like that they( Seattle Reproductive Medicine) do a follow up drug and nicotine testing prior to starting a cycle. Oh and she is a proven donor- this has become increasingly important to me lately. BUT, there is a fee of $3000 to hold your donor. And of course, this isn't covered with the $38,000 Attain package (the flat fee get 3 fresh IVF and 3 Frozen embryo transfer package). NOOOOOOO- this is extra. So now we have to come up with another 3,000. Good lord this is one expensive child- and it hasn't even been conceived yet.

The next step involves talking to the genetic counselor to determine if we want any more testing for Mike or for the donor (additional fee of course)...yah right. Then birth control pills and then we start coordinating cycles and then the fun begins..Looking forward to the injections with big needles and viscous painful fluids. Good times ahead....good times.

Keep following for more adventures of the failed ovaries..

Mock cycle complete!

Mock estrogen cycle completed!! Uterine lining responded well to Estrogen therapy. Blood levels remained within normal limits. Hysterosonogram was perfect- no polyps or fibroids. Had a sounding too- which is a mock transfer to find the right spot for the little eggie. Still looking for the perfect donor with Seattle Reproductive Medicine. Can't believe how quickly the donors are snatched up! I guess the donor egg program is a lot more popular than i have ever imagined. Amazing the modern medical miracles that take place daily! I recently learned through a friend going through this that is is best to choose a proven donor. Proven donors have already shown they are responsible and able to take their medications and must have proven results or they would be declined further cycles.

Next step is birth control pills (brings me back to my teenage days. What ever happened to the days of getting pregnant in the back seat of a car) Then cycle coordination with our donor.

Hoping for a transfer date of July...ish...

But for now- the sun is calling my name and my poor road bike is whining like an unloved dog..

Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day to all you wonderful mom's out there. Another beautiful day at Valley Nursery spending a small fortune on flowers and plants. Thank you to all my kids for helping plant and do yard work. Something so fulfilling about putting your hands in mother earth on Mother's Day.

Had a saline infused sonogram and my blood drawn Fri. The doctor proclaims my uterus is beautiful and the transfer will go swimmingly!! If only my ovaries were so beautiful! Should finish up this mock estrogen cycle Fri 14th after another blood draw and another ultrasound to check the uterine lining. So far I haven't gone crazy on this estrogen patch- I will check back on this after this week of increasing my estrogen dosage 4 fold!

Last night, Aaron, Mike and I saw Coheed and Cambria at the SoHo Showbox in Seattle. They were great!! My back and feet are still recovering from all the standing.

BREAKING NEWS---my dryer just died.....Stay tuned.

Estrogen and epigenetics

Started Estrogen patches last night for my "mock cycle". This is to see how the lining of my uterus responds to estrogen in preparation for the REAL DEAL. Still having worries after reading all the books on DE: Will I love my baby as much as I do my genetic children? How many siblings will this baby have out there? What if the baby marries or dates a sibling without knowing it? Will the baby love me as much he/she would their genetic mom? What about the young naive donor- how will she feel when her mind and heart matures more? Will she want to find her genetic children? What if my donor someday struggles with infertility and here I have used up all her young eggs?? How will I feel about my husband having "test tube sex" with a younger woman? How am I going to deal with those idiots and their insensitive comments and questions?... Oh the worries that enter my head..

However, I just read a very interesting and re-assuring article on epigenetics. This article states that biology determines which genes will be expressed. Meaning my biology- the environment that gives the baby flesh, blood, and life- will determine which genes inherited from the donor will be expressed. This challenges once again the nature vs. nurture theories. Knowing that I will be the BIOLOGICAL mother of this child does make me feel better. Some of the books mention the DE moms feelings of a little alien growing in their stomach (due to lack of genetic relation). Or the feeling that they are a "fake mom" just acting as a incubator- these thoughts stirred up feelings of uncertainty and ambivalence. But after reading the articles on epigenetics- I found myself feeling thrilled and excited again.

Back to the mock estrogen cycle...I go for blood draws, and ultrasounds as well as a saline infused sonogram through out this cycle.. As much as I hate going to the doctor and require xanax with the very thought- I must really really want a baby!!! I want a baby so bad, I can already smell the scent of a newborns head and the feel of an infant asleep in my arms.........feeding life makes me wanna garden. CIAO!

Donor eggs

Well here I am after 2 1/2 years of trying for a baby...still...not...pregnant...

Now moving on to donor egg IVF due to my geriatric ovaries. Follow along for the ride......